Mr. Oracle

Posted in BRKA, Songs on October 24th, 2006 by Market Poetry

To be sung to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson”

By: Anonymous

And here’s to you, Mr. Oracle
Off the balance sheet that cash must go, wo wo wo
God bless you please, Mr. Oracle
Heaven holds a place for those who pay, hey hey hey
Hey hey hey

We’d like to have a little bit from you and your piles
We’d like to help you put that cash to work
Look around you, all you see are unattractive buys
Please dole out those mounds, until we pay our loans

And here’s to you, Mr. Oracle
Off the balance sheet that cash must go, wo wo wo
God bless you please, Mr. Oracle
Heaven holds a place for those who pay, hey hey hey
Hey hey hey

Where that cash will go no one ever knows
So put in our pockets, sense that makes
It’s a little silly, just the billions sitting there
Most of all you’ve got to pay it—I’ve got kids

Coo coo ca-choo, Mr. Oracle
Shareholders love you more than you will know, wo wo wo
God bless you please, Mr. Oracle
Heaven holds a place for those who pay, hey hey hey
Hey hey hey

Sitting on that cash in a low interest account
Unexcited by the bank’s low rate, yah
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you’ve got to choose
Every way you look at it we lose

What will you do, Mr. Oracle?
Your shareholders turn their needy eyes to you, woo woo woo
What’s that you say, Mr. Oracle?
Cheap stocks have left and gone away, so just pay
Hey hey hey

Author’s Note: I’d love to see Berkshire Hathaway Inc. pay a dividend!

Editor’s Note: Click here for accompanying music. Let us know if you make a music video using these lyrics so we can post a link. And remember that Market Poetry welcomes your submissions!

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Buffett’s Secret

Posted in BRKA on June 26th, 2006 by Market Poetry

By Market Poetry

There is a rich man named Warren B.
Who drinks cherry Coke, never coffee or tea

For breakfast, lunch, and dinner it’s meat
And at playing the market he just can’t be beat

If you are intrigued by this humble man
Come listen to how it all began

When a book by Ben Graham caught Warren’s eye
To New York he went to study with the guy

Graham taught him to buy stocks below net
A buck at forty cents is quite a safe bet

He credits ol’ Munger for pushing quality co’s
And for sticking to investing in things that he knows

From his home in Nebraska he started a firm
To invest in companies for the long term

Over the years he’s built quite a stash
He’s now worth billions and billions of cash

All types of things his companies sell
Insurance and jewelry and candy as well

Despite all the riches he never spent much
Even when dating, he always went Dutch

Philanthropy was never high on his list
Some even said he had a tight fist

For years Mr. B had made the claim
To charity his riches, once he’s gone from the game

So long as Warren’s heart was still ticking
He preferred to spend his days stock picking

And hanging with his buddy, Bill
Getting together for steaks on the grill

These two rich men liked to play bridge
With Warren drinking Cokes from the fridge

The games were always friendly, with but pennies in the pot
Until one day, an idea Bill Gates got

“Let’s do something we haven’t done yet—
Let’s play a hand, the winner gets the jet!”

“Why play for peanuts?,” asked Warren as he smiled
“Let’s play for a billion, that’ll get you riled!”

“Chump change,” said Bill without missing a beat
“I’m in for five billion!—can you take the heat?”

“I’ll do you one better,” said Warren that day
“85% of wealth the loser will pay”

“Geez,” replied Bill, “That’s quite a large hand”
“But if I win, that’ll be really grand”

“Uh-oh,” thought Warren, “he called my bluff”
“If I lose this one, it will be quite rough”

“But one condition!,” cried Warren, attempting to hedge
“The loser to charity the money will pledge”

Bill agreed and the cards were dealt
And that’s how Warren tightened his belt.

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