Market Poetry

The folks who made big money this year
Are the ones owning stuff we wouldn’t go near
Like Apple at 40 times net
That’s a valuation we just don’t get
Or Google with a price-to-sales of thirteen
We simply prefer when multiples are lean
And it’s quite right to have wondered
Is oil sustainable at one hundred?
Will Chinese demand grow forever?
That’s a bet we’d make never
So we’re just sticking to our value guns
And passing on stocks amidst silly runs
The willingness to weather a lackluster year
To the institutions will not you endear
(Even if it sets the stage
For great riches at a later age)
But, my friends, I say “take heart”
Volatility is to this game a part
The wealth will come, even if it’s lumpy
So what if our recent returns look grumpy?
Momentum, you’re having your day in the sun
We’ve lost this year’s battle, but the war will be won

By Royall Tyler (excerpt)

Of every vice pursued by those
In folly’s by-paths rambling,
There’s none so bad in its dread close,
As the vile vice of gambling.
It taints our morals, wastes our time
And fills us with vexation.
Destroys our wealth and youthful prime,
And mars our reputation.

After seeing today’s huge gains follow last week’s horrific losses, we are reminded of a little poem called “Evolution” by Father John Banister Tabb.

Out of the dusk a shadow,

Then, a spark;

Out of the cloud a silence,

Then, a lark;

Out of the heart a rapture,

Then, a pain;

Out of the dead, cold ashes,

Life again.

Editor’s note: we welcome your own verses. No experience necessary.

By Amit D.

What on Earth to buy today? Oils, foods, drugs, you say. I ask you please to go away. The trading lately has made me mad. My P&L looks so bad. Indeed it has left me sad. The S+P is up you know. Where to next is a hard blow. For up or down it can move slow. But then it can break your back. While you’re sleeping, Asians attack. Not with missiles or with nukes, with their markets showing slack. Often I feel in a bind. This whole mess has broke my mind. My next position to unwind. Oh, serenity, may you I find.

Amit is an options trader in California.

By Armadillo

The market leaves me feeling hazy.
The fluctuations make me crazy.
My stocks move at their own beat.
Unpredictable! Even by the street.
Another day my holdings gunned.
I think I’ll buy an index fund.

By L. Ellman

My days are quite a living hell
Until I hear that closing bell
If money’s made, then all is well
If it’s lost, I admit, I yell
(It’s hard to call the buy and sell)
If you know how, I pray, do tell

By Detroit Gal

Stocks and bonds, oh me, oh my
I’d rather buy a pizza pie
Numbers, charts are quite a bore
I’d rather spend it at the store
On shoes, on pearls, on a brand new dress
(Perhaps that’s why my credit’s a mess!)

By A.E. Houseman

The thoughts of others
Were light and fleeting,
Of lovers’ meeting
Or luck or fame;

Mine were of trouble
And mine were steady,
So I was ready
When trouble came.

Editor’s Note: Click here to learn more about poet A.E. Houseman

By Market Poetry

Remember but a few weeks past
When your holdings took a blast
The Dow was down four-hundred plus
Don’t tell me you didn’t cuss

You prayed, “Give me once last chance–
To hedge, to trim, to reduce my stance.”
Recall when the bear seemed near
How your heart filled with ugly fear

The chance you asked for has been gifted
The Dow since then has been quite lifted
So let’s now see if you’ll stay true
To all that selling you swore you’ll do

Editor’s Note: We want your poems! Submissions welcome.

By: Market Poetry

ITEM 1. Business
Blackstone (the “Company”) is engaged in the business of buying overpriced companies, loading them unsustainably with debt, and then reselling them to the greater fool. Our business is facilitated by low interest rates and inexperienced lenders with quotas to meet. In the current market environment we are pursuing larger, higher profile acquisitions than ever before in order to feed our constantly growing egos. After financially raping our corporate acquisitions, our goal is to pass them on to someone else before problems emerge. We charge exorbitant fees to our limited partner investors that are entirely disconnected to the risk we take and the value we create. Due to our prestige and aura, we are able to offer our investors the opportunity to be associated with our institution and the feeling that they are “in the game,” in place of returns truly commensurate with our fee structure. With Mr. Shwarzman’s recent appearance on the cover of Fortune magazine and the current private equity hype, there is no better time to sell an interest in the Company. Through obfuscation, legalese, selective non-disclosure, and creating the illusion of impenetrable complexity, we believe we are able to accomplish an IPO without revealing too many of our secrets. Post-IPO we will continue to run the company for the benefit of management, but that will not be apparent to our bubble-chasing shareholders.

Editor’s note: This is more prose than poetry, but what the heck. Click for more Market Poetry.

By Market Poetry

“You’re better off private,”
Schwarzman tells all.
“But for me,” he mumbles-
“the IPO does call.”
A public Blackstone means the top.
Watch out folks, for the drop.

By M. Korn

(on his new job)

I think through it all
You will have a ball
To trade: to win, to lose
To profit and to muse
To jump to think to act
Thrill in thy days not lack’d
But these words instructive:
To keep the right perspective

By Market Poetry

Right now you’re cool and hip
In due time you’ll take a dip

SSS will begin to slow
The Street will say you will not grow

The stock will enter a free fall
The crown removed from Queen of Mall

Then, in but a few months time
Activists see past the grime

It might be Carl, or Bill, or Dan
They’ll approach with a financial plan:
“Your troubles fixed, without sweat
Just take on a heap of debt
Buy back shares then you’ll be done
As soon as Hollister is spun”

To debt Abercrombie will say no
But Hollister will be let go

The parent co, left for dead
To private hands will be lead

But Hollister will escape the doom
Until saturation, it will bloom

And once its stores reach every mall
What happens next is an easy call

SSS will begin to slow
The Street will say it will not grow…

Editor’s note: We’d rather post your poems than ours–send ‘em in!

By Eve W.

Woe to the Street
For tide receding
and value submerged

The voice of the songbird is
silent
For there are no trees on Wall Street

Many have come and gone
Yet none are found
On duty’s inspection

Woe to the Street
For the ear that listens
but hears not

A nod
A smile, then
A corroded and tarnished truth

The faint hiss of the sycophant
Echoes
As he slithers away

Woe to the Street
For tide receding
and value submerged

Author’s Note: Eve is a published poet and index fund investor.

By Abe

Terry Semel is
Happy that Panama came
Out. Up in Q2?

By Frozen Pozen

1. It’s on the latest cover of Fortune mag
An inevitable fall for the stars of that rag

2. You can use its products all the time
And never give the company a dime

3. Switching costs are equal to nil
That makes for software that’s easy to kill

4. Its p/e ratio is completely insane
These things to normalcy always wane

5. The same is true for its price-to-sale
Watch it deflate as investors bale

6. Insiders are selling left and right
If they’re not buying, why should I bite?

7. Shares are at 500 a pop
They can’t climb much higher without a drop

8. Yahoo and Microsoft on ads do compete
But a matter of time till GOOG feels the heat

9. The company has a stupid name
Except for WSSI, nothing’s more lame

10. New shares were sold in a secondary offer
You sell the overpriced, to stuff the coffer

11. What analysts love with their hearts all
Crash as soon as it scratches a wall

12. Lastly I’ll quote Horace’s prose
Which highlights the thorn on this rose:
“Multa renascentur quae iam cecidere, cadentque Quae nunc sunt in honore”

By Market Poetry

To be sung to the tune of “Strangers in the Night.”
For musical accompaniment, click here.

Brokers in the night
Exchanging stock tips

Wondering in the night
What were the chances

They’d still have a job
Before the year was through

Something in their eyes
Was so suspicious

Something in their smile
Was so malicious

Something in my heart
Told me, “stay far away”

Brokers in the night

Two lonely con-men
They were brokers in the night

Up to the moment when I placed my first order
Little did I know

The scam was just a glance away, a sneaky, conniving glance away
and
Ever since that night
They’ve been in prison

Convicts at first grade, in jail forever

It turned out so wrong
For brokers in the night

[instrumental]

The scam was just a glance away, a sneaky conniving glance away

and
Ever since that night
They’ve been in prison

Convicts at first grade, in jail forever

It turned out so wrong for brokers in the night

Dooby dooby doo…

By Market Poetry

Thanks to Brian S.
He runs the Trade 4 Cash site
To us he just linked

Please visit his site
Study his income system
And thank for support

We wish him much luck
May he find lots of income!
May his trades win big!

Editor’s Note: If you link to us like Brian, please let us know so we can thank you appropriately.

By Robert G.

Amidst the noise here and there strewn

I search valleys low, and high to moon

For a deserted kernel of truth and force

That clears the doubts and determines course

When treasure found, I ignore the rest

A simple thesis serves me best

Author’s Note: Robert lives in Minnesota.

By Anonymous

My aim set forth is fortune made
Strength I gather to face the fear
In sea of risk I do now wade
Bull intending, I accept the bear